TOP TEN ALBUMS OF 2009: NO. 10.

So I Figured I'd Do A Countdown, Cos Everyone Loves A List. It'll Be In A Particular Order I Reckon, As I Love To Discriminate, With Some Shock Choices But Some That You'll Think 'Yeah, Obviously, Dick'ed.' I Think A Lot Of End Of Year Lists Forget Months Like January, Cos They Were So Far Away, But Mine Is A Full On Retrospective. I Hope It'll Make Someone Go 'Oh Man I Haven't Heard That Since April, That Was The Balls In April Maaaan.'

Anyway, On To The First, At Number Ten.

Tiga - Ciao!

I Doubt This Will Appear On Many Lists At All. It's Probably Too Tongue In Cheek For Most People To Feature On A List With *Spoiler Alert* The Brilliant HEALTH Album, But It Is Fantastic For A Million Reasons.
With Songs Like 'Sex O'Clock', 'Love Don't Dance Here Any More', 'Shoes' And 'Mind Dimension', Tiga Pumps His Fist Whilst Threateningly Cackling In Your Face - A Bit Too Close To Your Face, Like Those Women You Meet Who Insist On Standing Against You Yet Whom You Well Don't Want To Kiss.
What Is Shocking About This Album Is That, For A Record Predominantly Produced By Soulwax, One Of The Most Widely Renowned Dance Act Of Our Time (Probably Second Only To Daft Punk), It Didn't Really Reach Much Further Than Full-On Gurning Electro Kids. And That's A Crying Shame, Because It Is, For Me, The Most Brilliant Album For Pre-Drinking To Since Justice's '†' In 2007. And Then The Majority Of Us HAD To Pre-Drink, Cos We Were Underage.
Tiga Seemed Sure Of Every Track On This Album. There Was Apparently A Hilarious Moment When He Appeared On Kissy Sell Out's Radio 1 Show. Sell Out (As This Would Be His Last Name) Told Him That He Had Seen Kids Going Wild In Clubs When The Main Lyric Of 'Mind Dimension' ('Every Time I Look Into Your Eyes I See The Future') Dropped, And Asked Tiga How He Had Come Up With Such An Inspiring Lyric.
Tiga's Response?
'I Wanted One Of Those Really Horrible Cheesy Lyrics That You Used To Hear All The Time In 90s House That Don't Really Mean Anything.'
Sell Out Took Quite Some Time To Reply...

With Songs Like 'Luxury' The Listener Has To Take A Step Outside Of The Music. Its Lyrical Content Can Be Summed Up In This Sentence: 'Basically I'm Rich And Bathe In Champagne And Rolex Means Fuck All To Me And Because Of This I Am Better Than You.'
Hoping He's Joking, I Enjoy The Overly Suggestive (I'm Amazed That's The First Time I've Said 'Overly Suggestive' In This Piece) 'OohWaahOoh's And The More Chilled Tempo.
Sometimes Tiga Hits The Boundary Of 'Come On You Show-Off Fuck' But You Never Hate Him For It. He Is Kind Of Brilliant.

'Sex O'Clock' Is An Obvious Favourite. Co-Produced By James Murphy (Fuck You If You Don't Know That Name) It Is More Of A Strut Than It Is A Song. It's Wondrous In Its Powers To Make You Think You're The Balls, And I'm Sure Such An Effect Is Tenfold For Tiga Himself.

Anyway, I've Said My Piece. There's Only One Way I Could Possibly Finish My Piece On 'Ciao!', And That Is With Tiga's Self-Produced Press Release TV Interview. If You Haven't Heard Him, Don't Listen Without Watching This Video First. It's A Miracle Committed To DV Tape. It Makes Me Think No-One Has The Right To Talk About Tiga Except Tiga. Which Means This Is All Irrelevant. I Apologise.

Part 1



Part 2